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Satan and his bull semen
The Iranians call the US shaitan e bozurg, better translated as ‘the
More
distinguished among the devilish’ rather than the
More
abrupt ‘great satan’. Well, they can keep their opinion, but the US certainly is the greatest of the trading nations. Nothing, it seems, can ever stop the drive to make that buck, wherever it comes from. Thus comes the news that the US, even as it is supposed to be drawing up plans to attack, is supplying things like
Cigarettes
, bras, perfumes, and well, bull semen, among other things to Iran. That trade recognises no barriers, or regimes, can be gathered from reports that US exports to Iran actually grew
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than tenfold during President Bush’s tenure. But one wonders what to make of the export items. Women in Iran are quite far from a bra-burning era, but perhaps the US feels an all-American item of intimate clothing could stir vague thoughts of rebellion. And then there’s the military uniforms (another export item), which is even
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surprising. Or maybe they’ve been fitted with some embedded technology or glow paint or whatever that’ll make enemy soldiers vulnerable to the kind of turkey shoot the Americans excel at. It is also a surprise no one has suggested that these items could well be used by the devious Iranians as components for WMDs. Think of it: stuff the bra down the perfume bottle for a fuse, smear the bottle with bull semen and light it up with a fag, and off we go, a veritable Molotov cocktail!But sadly, satanic thoughts do seem to emanate from the current crop of US politicians. Reports aver that the Republican presidential candidate, John McCain, when asked about the massive tobacco shipments to Iran replied, “Maybe that’s a way of killing them.” Apparently, Mrs McCain had to poke her husband in the back to make him stop. After which he hastily added he was joking. Of course, this is the same gentleman who once, when asked about the country by someone, broke into a “Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran’ jig. Shock, awe and mirth anyone?